This is another oneshot, and this time it's about the only member who couldn't make it to come to Jakarta last Saturday, the gorgeous gesture man, Choi Siwon :)
I push the door slightly.
As I expect, Shiwon is working on the bed. He is busy with the laptop on his lap. He fixes his glasses a couple of times.
I stare at him.
Shiwon is an enormously busy man. He works all day long and still has to continue it at home. He goes to work early after dropping me at Lolli-chan apartment. Though he always arrives home before me, he has to engage with the cruel roads and exhausting traffic jam. His job makes him stays in door and seems like it doesn’t need much energy, but I know he has to squeeze his brain tighter than anyone else in his office.
Despite all his circumstances, Shiwon is still able to smile every time I call his name. He tries listening to my stories and whines with full concentration. He does his best to not yawn in front of me even though I can see weariness clearly drawn on his face. If he really can’t stand the sleepy feeling, he will apologize then he’ll let me continue my story while he hugs me and falls asleep on my shoulder.
And look at me now.
Shiwon has never complained about how much the job he has to finish nor how annoying his boss and colleagues, not even once. Me? I have just faced those people with too many whims and I got disorientated. I have just faced endless tasks and the must to participate in those series of activities and I got completely broken. I have just faced that kind of pressure and I desperately wanted to go back and curl in my comfort zone.
I gaze Shiwon hazily. My feelings are mix up, I can’t explain.
Shiwon stops staring his laptop and spins his head to me. Automatically he beams his soft smile.
I can’t hold my emotions any longer. My eyes start foggy.
Shiwon puts his laptop at the nightstand and brush away his files. He pats the spot next to him.
“Come here, my dear.”
I rush to his embrace. My breath is uneven like crying, but I’m not crying. My eyes are only glistened, but I don’t drop a single tear.
Shiwon strokes and taps my back slowly. I feel warm roaming to my entire body. After some moments, my breath starts to even.
“You know, everything happens for a reason.”
“You know too that you can always come to lean on me.”
I nod again. His shirt is rumpled because of my continuous nod.
I let out deep breath. My eyes start watery.
Why do I have to feel frightened and want to run away? Whereas I will never really be hurt. I may fall and feel pain, but it will not be more than that. Shiwon will never let me get hurt. After all, I always have to return to him, no matter what.
So why do I have to lay down my arms on this?
Shiwon pats my back to soothe my soundless cry. He kisses my head.
“You know you have me.”
Thank God I have you.